How to Tell Bad News

How to tell bad news.

Mr. H. and the Steward.

Mr. H. Ha! Steward, how are you, my old. boy? How
do things go on at home ?
Steward. Bad. enough, your honor; the magpie is dead.
H. Poor Mag ! So he's gone. How came he to die ?
S. Overeat himself, sir.
H. Did. he ? A greedy dog; why, what did he get he
liked so well ?
S. Horseflesh, sir; he died" of eating horseflesh.
H. How came he to get so much horseflesh?
S. All your father's horses, sir.
H. What ! are they dead, too ?
S. Ay, sir; they died of overwork.
H. And why were they overworked, pray ?
S. To carry water, sir.
H. To carry water ! and what were they carrying water
for ?
S. Sure, sir, to put out the fire.
H. Fire ! what fire ?
S. O, sir, your father's house is burned to the ground.
H. My father's house burned down ! and how came it
set on fire ?
S. I think sir, it must have been the torches.
H. Torches ! what torches ?
S. At your mother's funeral.
H. My mother dead !
S. Ah, poor lady! she never looked up, after it
H. After what ?
S. The loss of your father.
H. My father gone, too ?
S. Yes, poor gentleman ! he took to his bed as soon as
he heard of it.
H. Heard of what ?
S. The bad news, sir, and please your honor
H. What! more miseries! more bad news!
S. Yes, sir; your bank has failed, and your credit is
lost, and you are not worth a shilling in the world. I
made bold, sir, to wait on you about it, for I thought you
would like to hear the news.

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